Why do all good things have to end one way or another? Why can't we just preserve the moment and always treasure it?
One moment you have wings, flying as high as the sun allows you to, the next one you find yourself barely hanging on, barely surviving the storm. In the end it all comes back to the memory. "Memory is the Treasury of all Things" - Cicero, I never gave any thought to this sentence, not until today, not until I have violently understood that my only thing in the end will be my memory. Three stones guard these words in a park called Rufford Abbey in England, as heavy as they may seem at first, you only realise the burden as it strucks later on in life.
"Flames to dust..." that's what we will be in the end, nothing lasts forever, but my illusion will. I still want to believe I live my dream, I don't want to wake up and face the cold, I don't want to try and recover all the shattered pieces of myself. I am all over the ground, facing everything upside down. Tiny, small, fading... But everyones says "You are still yourself, all the treasures are inside yourself, move on... make other memories so you won't feel the cold old ones anymore, move one....evolve" Just words spinning round' and round' inside my mind and heart.
And it feels like when you meet the right person it's not gravity that holds you on to earth anymore, it's her or him. Kay deal with that, let me see you deal with that, let me see how you like the logical gravity back, let me see you move on like a fish on the sea shore. Can you? Let me see you turning back to a statue, get back the honour, but lose yourself, lose your charm, the magic...
They say " It's okay dear, you are human in the end... it's okay to stumble sometimes, hence...you're just a baby. More or less." And I reply " I like being human, I don't mind that...but about the stumbling, I loathe it, I despise it, I'd rather be on two feet all the time then switching when life feels like it. I'm no remote control, nor a machine, I am just myself whoever that is. May no one read this...but I know, in the end we all feel like this sometimes, more...or... less...
